The Lens of Perception rules happiness and downfall in the same circumstance

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In life everything is perception. Events occur every day in our lives that define who we are. The events are the same regardless of the person. Each person chooses to view them from their personal lens of perception.

The personal lens of perception makes an event horrible or the best experience life could offer. The beauty is literally in the eye of the beholder.


I entered US Air Force basic training in 2004. Our Technical Instructors (TIs) were trained to breakdown undisciplined civilians. The purpose of the breakdown was to allow the TIs to take down the walls that surround the ego to let the TIs build the recruits to United States Air Force Men & Women. Sleep deprivation was a basic requirement. Yelling was the only tone of voice we heard for the first month. Every day we would wake up, make our beds according to specs, organize our areas, conduct mourning cleaning and put our uniforms on according to standard. Life was a series of routines and systems. Nothing was up to standard for the first month. Nothing was good enough during this initial month.

It was during this four week time in basic training I saw an attempted suicide. The person who attempted this was my wingman for the first three weeks of basic training.

Apparently the experience in basic training was so horrible for this person he attempted to end his life.

His experience and my experience were completely different.


I thought basic training was the best thing that ever happened to me. I appreciated grit. I understood not everyone could be wrong. The Technical Instructors wanted everyone to feel they were failures through impossible standards. The impossible standards were designed to destroy egos. With egos people could not be taught. Un-teachable people are cancerous in the military. People with egos do not take orders and will not listen to superiors.

The initial 4 week system was designed to shatter egos.

Once the ego was shattered the Technical Instructors could mold a person who was willing to learn their system. Their system was what the military wanted to teach. The system was necessary to protect our nation. There were no short cuts to be given. The will power and perseverance needed to conquer basic training was only a fraction of what a person may needed in a war zone. If a person would break in basic training there was no way they would make it when it wasn’t training.

The ability to remain focused on tasks under extreme pressure is one of the skills I learned during my tenure in the military. The ability to exist under extreme stress is something the military honed onto me. This was something my former wingman did not get.


I learned valuable lessons that carry me forward in life to this day. The ability to view all circumstances positive is the greatest lesson I learned. Nothing is ever bad to me. My “Words of Affirmation” for the 5 love language test is a 0. I need no one to tell me I am good and I do not care if anyone says I am bad. The words have the same affect on me as describing a green dumpster.

Each day we choose to view our circumstance as we want to. The ability to see something as the best thing or worst thing resides within our mind.


Currently I have my child withheld from me and a temporary injunction in place stops me from seeing her until the legal dispute surrounding her custody is finalized.

Am I rattled? Am I depressed? Am I upset?

Many would say all of these things. Instead I have empathy and sympathy for my former wife. The lens of my perception dictates she is creating an unnecessary state of misery on herself and our child. There is no violence, lack of support or a person unwilling to help her. I am here for her as her friend. She loved me so much she could not emotionally handle not being my lover. In her feelings she decided to kill any part of me that would be willing to help her. She needs to hate me in order to move on. I must be the abandoner and the enemy. I do not share any of her sentiments. I do not see anything she sees as true. It does not matter what I see only what she sees. Our divorce has two different lens of perception.

I feel empathy for her because she erodes her relationship with her daughter. She sacrifices a very good relationship with me for her feelings about me. I could be her friend, her confidant, her supporter, and her business partner (all in one) if she so chose it. She did not choose the previous option. Was I perfect? Absolutely not. Could I have been a better husband to her? Yes in many instances I could have been a better husband. Reality is what we make it. The ability to forge a positive relationship going forward despite the past is a true measure of character. Failure to do so while affecting others negatively can weaken character. In some cases failure to do this can destroy character.

At some point the relationship between her and our daughter will strain when our daughter discovers the only reason her father is not around is because her mother cannot stand her father’s presence. She will lose a great business partner and life partner as well. I view the consequences as unnecessary and sad in my eyes.

I feel sympathy for her. I am not upset. Many would be but I am not. She is entitled to her feelings.

The Lens of Perception is a powerful tool that you can utilize to control your outlook. The only thing you can control in a situation is your attitude. The attitude is dictated by you and no one else.


In business everything is interpersonal relationships. People will experience business divorces (just as personal ones) and go to court over custody of important assets (in marriage it is children). How you view these circumstances remains within your control. Upon every great castle stands a mountain of ash and ruin. The rock was once magma and yet it cooled and became the earth. Remember to stay focused in stressful times. A level head in emotionally charged situations will be the primary driving factor for success in life. Success in business starts with success in life. Follow me on Medium or subscribe to my newsletter to learn more insightful advice.

To your knowledge success!


About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Entrepreneur. Christopher has opened over 7 businesses in his 14-year career. Christopher’s purpose is to take advantage of various market-driven opportunities. Christopher is a certified Master Project Manager (MPM), Master Financial Planner (MFP) and Accredited Financial Analyst (AFA). Christopher previously held his Series 65 securities license. Christopher also has his General Lines — Life, Accident, Health & HMO. Christopher has managed a combined 286mm USD in reported Assets Under Management & Assets Under Advisement. Christopher has work experience in 29 countries, raised over 50mm USD for various businesses, and grossed over 7.5mm in his personal career. Christopher worked in the highly technical industries of: biotechnology, finance, securities, manufacturing, real estate, and residential mortgages. Christopher is a United States Air Force Veteran. Christopher has a passion for family, competitive sports, fishing, martial arts and advocacy for entrepreneurs. Christopher provides self-help classes for up-and-coming entrepreneurs. Christopher’s passion to mentor comes from belief that entrepreneurs need guidance. The world is full of conflicting information about entrepreneur identity. See more at

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Christopher is a Professional Entrepreneur with over 14 years of experience, a Master Project Manager, Financial Analyst, & Master Financial Planner

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