Do you want to be a Success or be Right? They are not always the same thing.
Ultimately there is a cost for being right. We often assume proving someone wrong entitles us to the result we want. In fact, nothing could be further from the truth.
Chaos is often the by product of wounded hearts, emotional distress and feelings of embarrassment. Prideful people seem to obsess over the right and wrong in a situation.
We think by being right everything will happen the way it should.
False assumptions in the train of thought for being “right” conclude individuals to believe 1) People will change their actions, 2) People will realize they need to stop behaving a certain way and 3) People will reform their approaches.
These self-centered assumptions influence internal thoughts to conclude a fallacy.
“Because I am right, and you are wrong you will do it my way.”
This is a load of crap.
People forget all activities require human relationships. Human relationships are social and emotional.
How human beings experience life is largely emotional.
Think about it. Do you want to be numb your whole life to another’s emotions? I am guessing the answer is no. If I am wrong, please comment. Tell me why a person does not want to care about someone else’s emotions in life. I am interested to understand the textbook definition of… Psychopathy.
When people make decisions without regard of a person’s emotional integrity the results are typically catastrophic.
If you don’t ascribe to being an empathetic human being than I can appeal to logic.
From a logical standpoint, “If you don’t care about how people feel, you should at least care how people feel to get what you want.”
From my prospective hell is nothing more than a continual state of misery, depression and anger. By my definition I know no one who wants to get you to paradise if all you do is give them hell.
Successful relationships are required for anything in life. Marriage, business, friendships and sports all thrive off inter dependence.
There is no “I” in team but there is an “I” in Win. “Michael Jordan”
To win you must recognize you are always part of some team. Are you a sole proprietor or single member LLC owner? You still have stakeholders. Maybe it’s your bank because you owe them debt. Maybe it’s your customers because they give you what you need (sales). Maybe it’s your supply chain because you count on your vendors. Let’s face it. You always have a team.
Life is a social experience not an individual experience.
To many there is nothing more important than winning. A win is not defined by you. To win you must have others say you won. Winning requires acceptance. Self-worth requires nobody’s acceptance. Don’t confuse the two.
If everyone you engage with socially says you suck at relationships…you suck. Period. You lost. It’s not about right or wrong. Since you can’t get acceptance you lose. If you lose by this standard you are the loser.
STOP CELEBRATING DEFEAT
Lately everyone talks about this “8th place trophy” concept. I argue this idea. I believe this idea is here largely to permit mediocrity. People want to make excuses for lacking something.
A healthy delusion is good for confidence, but your delusion is not reality for others. If you are playing a social game (as we all are) than at some point you must consider another person’s view.
To win in a social relationship means to make the other person feel safe, secure, and emotionally positive. Sometimes this means you need to stop obsessing over being right in the interest of making the person feel better.
FEELINGS MATTER MORE THAN THE POINT SOMETIMES
This is not a contradiction. This is also not lying to someone. I’m not saying to recognize feelings are always right. I’m saying you need to recognize a person you care for is typically more important than being right.
Hell, it might mean being wrong with them. It is a choice we all must decide.
What is more important? Being right to allow a person to feel like crap, or telling a person their feelings matter more than being right?
The win in a relationship believe feelings are more important than being right. Disagree? I’m open to opinions; however, I think people tend to agree with me when their feelings need consideration.
Apply emotional intelligence in business, marriage or any social experience. Watch magic happen. This is my secret for cultivating relationships. My people show up when everyone else walks away.
In business you might need some money and guess what? Your economic bottom line will be impacted by something as small as, “I want to make him or her feel better.” Sometimes it’s that simple.
I’m guessing we all want someone to show up when we are down and out. Who has shown up for you lately?
To your knowledge success!
About Christopher: Christopher Knight Lopez is a Professional Entrepreneur. Christopher has opened over 7 businesses in his 14-year career. Christopher’s purpose is to take advantage of various market-driven opportunities. Christopher is a certified Master Project Manager (MPM), Master Financial Planner (MFP) and Accredited Financial Analyst (AFA). Christopher previously held his Series 65 securities license examination. Christopher also has his General Lines — Life, Accident, Health & HMO. Christopher has managed a combined 286mm USD in reported Assets Under Management & Assets Under Advisement. Christopher has work experience in 29 countries, raised over 50mm USD for various businesses, and grossed over 8.0mm in his personal career. Christopher worked in the highly technical industries of: biotechnology, finance, securities, manufacturing, real estate, and residential mortgages. Christopher is a United States Air Force Veteran. Christopher has a passion for family, competitive sports, fishing, martial arts and advocacy for entrepreneurs. Christopher provides self-help classes for up-and-coming entrepreneurs. Christopher’s passion to mentor comes from belief that entrepreneurs need guidance. The world is full of conflicting information about entrepreneur identity. See more at www.christopherklopez.com.
Disclaimer: This information is not meant to be a form of investment advice or financial advice. Do not apply this situation to your own personal circumstance. Various risks include: business risk, investment risk, political risk, and other risks. This information is for informational and educational purposes only. Please do not reach out to the author for any investment strategies or philosophies. Please consult your own financial advisor or legal advisor for your own circumstance. Not a recommendation or endorsement of any kind.